triggers (NPM2017 # 6)

ayo circa mid 2000.jpg

i am from the school of

small axes

of the days

when the most violent

write the letter of the law

the law often a faithless mistress

combines to chalk line my boundaries

forgetting who pushed who first

or legitimizing it

complicit in the minefield of my life

enabling the infamous

wearing black robes

white robes

sometimes in  scarlet robes

over brooks brothers suits

all the same in their effect

to stones the builder rejects

tethered in halls of injustice

after being dimissed

after pouring growing planting

the foundation

of the crooked house

outside which i sit

fully loaded

rife with triggers

explosive in the conjured myth

informed by action word deed

and the reality of living in the land

of the lawless triggered by reckless lips

using english like a club

toxic ink on cotton

with jim crow’s shadow reinventing itself

in the dust of my steps

i got triggers

if i ain’t got nothing else

side eye shade interpreted with acuity

fluent in non verbals

subliminal

and lapses in consciousness

and yes you meant that

don’t take it back

because you realize

the safety is off

bare reality ain’t got filters

i got triggers

can smell the call

will answer it

give you your nightmare without hesitation

i have risen not forgotten

we can get low

i know the steps

wrote some of the songs

you sure you want to sing along

i got triggers

will pull belive that

send you to meet your maker

before i let you send me to mine

i am a retired slave

been done been unruly

was never suited for oppression

so i stood up

don’t try to ride my back

i got triggers

you try to put me on my knees

you find out i squeeze

blow you back to where you came from

have you scratching your life

with your good hand

trying to figure out what comes next

i got triggers

i decipher intention in deed word and text

on the look-out for nappy nets

easily vexed

don’t test

i got triggers

lions and gerillas

here

riding in the storm

fully loaded

come for me

i answer the door

if you didn’t want

war what you pull up for

reciprocity is a religion

catch me wrong

i serve what i am given

i got triggers

 

 

 

About Ayodele Nzinga, MFA, PhD

I create; therefore I am.
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